SOCIAL PROBLEM
Men of honour are needed in building a culture of trust back in our communities. For far too long men have been stripped of this honour by some who cannot have self-control, who are driven by their feelings. The time has come now to build and restore the man’s honour among the family and community.
In a nation where 50 000 women are raped annually and more than 20 000 children are sexually abused. The level of trust between men and women has weaned and no woman wants to be at risk. Rape and abuse are costly not only to the one committing it and the victim but also to the family and community.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?
(Proverbs 6: 27) but most have scooped it and they think that they would not be burnt. There are painful effects that remain with the one committing rape and abuse.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT RAPE
Genesis 34:2 shows that Shechem raped Dinah. Then Shechem’s soul clave unto Dinah because of this act; that is, Shechem ended up developing a soul tie with Dinah. Every person who gets involved with someone in a sexual act develops a soul tie with the person who is involved in the act, and this is how delicate a sexual encounter is. It is for this reason God pronounced that marriage be between two people – so that your soul is attached to only one person.
Imagine then what happens to a rape victim’s soul. It develops a soul tie with someone who has entered themselves by force into their soul. It is not only the body of the victim that is exploited but the soul of the victim, too, is torn to pieces. The rapist steals the space that was reserved for a loving husband.
When the soul is torn apart everyone who touches her in a sexually arousing manner brings back what is embedded in the soul, causing a reaction that resents anyone who dares to touch her in that fashion. She does not find pleasure in what God has created for enjoyment and though she may end up being involved in sexual activities but most times all it does is to bring old memories of pain.
Not only the victim is afflicted but the one committing the act could be left with uncontrollable desires that could put him in even more trouble. This could also lead to the loss of one’s manhood and this is like taking permanent decision over temporary situation of lust and also can lead to having a spiritual wife.
Even though men issues are not discussed in the open that does not mean they do not have afflictions. They die in silence and so to a lot of us assume that men do not suffer and so fulfil the Zulu saying: “Indoda ifela nga phakathi.”
THE EFFECTS IN THE COMMUNITY
It is under these circumstances that Dinah’s rape triggered her brothers, the sons of Jacob, to plan against Shechem and the Hivite community. They killed all the men in that community and a community was left with no man because of the act of rape.
When this kind of a problem arises it leaves the whole community in fear and raises questions about the calibre of men that we are. This story shows that rape brought a curse upon the whole society and through the curse; they lost all the men in the city of Cychar.
It is the same in our time; men are being reduced to animals because of a few who cannot control their desires. It is no more a one man problem but it becomes a community problem and it leads to all of us not being trusted. People do not make it audible but it is visible, the body language and the eye contact shows that you cannot be trusted.
JESUS CAN HEAL THE COMMUNITY
However, in John 4:4 we find Jesus who comes to Cychar in Samaria and sits at the well of Jacob. The name Cychar is the same as the name Shechem who raped Dinah; the name Cychar identifies the town for us where the event took place. Jesus visits this city to deal with something very important: The effects of the curse caused by the rape of Dinah.
A woman comes to draw water at the well and finds Jesus sited there. When Jesus begins to talk to the woman she refuses to speak to him under the pretext that they are from different tribes which was the same situation with Dinah and Shechem. The situation in Genesis is played out again in the book of John.
The woman speaks of her ordeal with men but Jesus coming restore goes ahead knowing that the problem started in Genesis and diagnoses and provides solution to the problem. She discovered a man who she thought never existed, her perception about men changed and she ran into the city to tell men.
CONCLUSION
Men are supposed to be celebrated by women, knowing that they provide protection and safety. A city without men is easily attacked but with men in their positions, the city is safe. We need men like Nehemiah who would be challenged to bring a ring of protection around a family and community and not exploit the vulnerable people but help bring security (Nehemiah 1:4).
When men are not taking their position, the community flounders in confusion; the women have no one as confidants and children have no trust and role model to help shape their lives. This leaves the community in confusion and with no hope. Men are expected to be leaders and when this natural calling ceases, it often throws society into chaos.
Originally published in the print edition of DIVINE Magazine, Issue 02.
