“YOU’RE KINDER TO STRANGERS THAN TO YOUR OWN FAMILY”
Have you ever heard something like that? I did, several years ago – from my wife. At first, I was shocked she would even suggest such a thing.
After all, I was a pastor… a man of God… a shining example of Christ-like love and virtue. The more I thought about it, and the more I began to examine my behavioral patterns, the more I realised she was right.
To the rest of the world, I was patient, compassionate, and ever willing to die to self to meet their needs. But to my wife and children, I was often something less than those things.
In other words, I wasn’t bringing my best love home. Every day, believers throughout the body of Christ fall into the trap of thinking that, once they’re home, they no longer need to extend the kind of courtesy and grace offer in the workplace.
GOD’S PLAN
Once my wife lovingly pointed out this negative pattern, God really began to deal with me about taking my family for granted. He said, “You need to bring your best love home. If you’re not bringing your best love home, you’re living a hypocritical love in front of your wife and children.
“I think it’s fair to say that often, the ones we love the most receive the lowest output of our love and affection. They’re the ones with whom we’re the least careful in expressing ourselves. And frequently, they’re the ones to whom we’re the least polite and patient.
The love and respect that you show for other people should be magnified for your wife or husband, children and siblings. God’s way is for you to bring your best love home. And in order to bring our best love home, we first have to determine what love really is.
1 Corinthians 13 describes the attributes of love, but verse three sums up its importance when it says, “And if I have not love it profits me nothing.”
According to the first three verses of this passage, you can be the most”spiritual” human being on the earth, yet if you don’t have love; it won’t profit you a thing. The truth is, God doesn’t care nearly as much about your ability, as He does your ability to love.
In the next five verses we see that love is patient, kind, doesn’t get envious or jealous, and doesn’t get prideful or egotistical. It doesn’t behave unmannerly. It isn’t selfish or easily offended. It doesn’t think evil about others, nor does is rejoice in somebody else’s misfortunes. It only rejoices in the truth.
The Bible says that love protects in loyalty and it patiently waits for the best in other people. Love never fails. These powerful scriptures are familiar to most of us, but do we apply them to our relationships at home?
THROUGH GOD’S EYES
Did you know that it’s possible to walk in the attributes of love without necessarily having a revelation of what love really is? When we consistently shortchange our loved ones at home, yet extend love to the rest of the world, we’re merely walking in the attributes, not the true revelation of love.
In the world people love because they are motivated by need. They’re looking for something in return. For example, perhaps you’re nice to your boss because he controls your pay-check. So, you put on the attributes of love in order to bring home your paycheck. It’s a transaction.
In 1 John 4:10 we discover that genuine love is based on a different type of transaction: In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Love in its purest form comes from a revelation of God’s love for us. The world portrays love as some elusive emotion. You meet somebody and the sparks fly, the adrenaline flows, the chemistry gels, and there’s such passion that you cannot stand to be away from that person for a second. The problem with this type of love is that it is temporary and fleeting. You fall in and out of it.
The next time you walk through the door after a tiring and difficult day, remember the message of John 4:7-8:
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
Make it a point to bring your best love home every day. Do so, and you’ll find that your home life will become blissful and that you will carry that love out into the cold and hurtful world.
Originally published in the print edition of DIVINE Magazine, Issue 02.
