Choosing to remain sexually pure until marriage is not easy. 2 Timothy 3:12 states, “And all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”
This reminds me that some of the choices one makes to honour God will not make the world happy and you will be persecuted for it. Maintaining sexual purity has its own battles and challenges. From the world’s viewpoint, maintaining sexual purity before marriage seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Many people consider it strange if a couple does not sleep together before they are married. Young people think it’s old-fashioned and just totally weird. After all, they say, “shouldn’t they find out whether they are sexually compatible?” Someone asked me how will I know that I will be sexually fulfilled once I am married? I responded by saying, “I refuse to do things based on worldly standards. It’s not easy, but God’s grace carries you if you allow it.”
I recently got engaged to an amazing man who fears and loves the Lord. I am frequently asked when am I moving in with my fiancé and when am I starting to have sex with him? God’s word regarding sex cuts straight across the grain of culture. Culture portrays sexual intimacy between two unmarried people as something casual and innocent as holding hands, but nothing could be further from the truth.
This is what the word of God says: “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the MARRIAGE BED be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
The aforementioned scripture shows that the marriage bed should be held in honour by ALL, not just married couples, because we are all included in that statement. “But I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil” (Romans 16:19).
Are you a Christian who desires to be married? If so, allow me to pose this question to you: “What exactly do you want from that marriage?” Think about that for a moment before you continue to read this article. It is easy to know another person sexually, especially in our present culture, but a marriage relationship requires much more than physical intimacy. Marital bliss doesn’t just happen overnight; it requires hard work. There first need to be spiritual and emotional intimacy to build trust, commitment and communication.
I believe marriage is a lifelong covenant to love, care and nourish. It’s not just about the wedding day!
God had our best in mind when he gave us strong directives about sexual purity before marriage.
Learn not to take matters into your own hands; trust the Heavenly Father; He knows what’s best for you. Meditate on this scripture and allow the Spirit of the living God to minister to you: 1 Peter 1:14-16 “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy one who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behaviour, because it is written, “You shall be Holy, For I Am Holy.”
Benefits that come with waiting until marriage:
- You please God
- You build trust and trust is necessary for intimacy
- You develop the godly qualities of patience and self-control
- You affirm that you care more for the other person than for yourself
- You protect yourself from feeling guilty and shame
- You provide yourself with an example to give your children
- You protected from emotional, mental and physical trauma should you break off the relationship
- You develop a healthy communication habits and skills
- You avoid the possibility of unwanted pregnancy or sexual transmitted diseases
You maintain a clear conscience before God and man - You increase the anticipation and enjoyment of your wedding night
- You experience the blessings of obedience
- You discover more about each other than just the physical
- You maintain a witness to a lost world
- You keep from bringing reproach on the name of Christ and lastly
- If you honour God in your relationship and you make God the centre of the courtship and fear him it sure will turn out the way God’s intends it to be
Originally published in the print edition of DIVINE Magazine, Issue 02.
